I just want to talk for a moment.  This has nothing to do with spinning or teaching or writing or my family.  It’s all about me.

I have a problem.
I choose to do things that aren’t good for me.
Not a lot of things.  The things I choose are always food things.
I’m not a skinny girl.  I never have been.  But it seems I can’t stop growing.
Four years ago I lost 50 pounds in about 10 months by signing up for LA Weightloss.  it was good for me.  There were guidelines and I weighed in 3 times per week and met with a counselor.  I also talked to my sister almost every day.  sometimes I cried and sometimes I celebrated.

When I got to the point where I should have been learning how to stabilize LA Weightlosss closed their locations.  Within a year I had gained 30 pounds and now I am up 60 pounds from my lowest weight.

Here’s the thing.  I know what I did to lose weight.  It was a balanced diet with 2 protein bars a day and less than 50 carbs.

Here’s the other thing.  When I eat a high carb diet I feel bad. I feel sluggish and bloated and just gross.  When I have high protein and vegetables and keep my net carbs under 80 max I feel good.  There are other symptoms but I won’t go into that here:-)

Also, we have diabetes in my family and I am worried about it.  I was diabetic with both of my last pregnancies.

So why oh why oh why don’t I STOP?

Go to the movies – Popcorn and soda
home – kids are having ice cream and so am I
Shop – I forgot to pack my lunch and so it’s fast food.

All bad things for someone who wants to control her sugar and also other bodily issues.
When I was losing weight I was shopping on a regular basis.  My lunch was packed for the shop every morning.  Most carbs were eaten in the morning along with a protein.

Now, I have begun and stopped doing this a ton of times over the past months.  Why don’t I just stick with it? Why?
I’m really disappointing myself.
If  one of my kids were in this predicament, I would be encouraging them but also giving them the talk about hard work and how worth while things take time and doing a little each day really adds up.

Temptation is a terrible thing.

Tomorrow I am beginning again.
8 glasses of water per day
Less than 80 carbs
More vegetables
High Protein.
Tomorrow is a new day…again.

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